


Jokes

by basicallyiwriteshit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Breakups, M/M, tsukkiyama - Freeform, yamatsukki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:39:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4656525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicallyiwriteshit/pseuds/basicallyiwriteshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo's joking goes too far yet again, this time resulting in an angry Tsukishima and an anxious Yamaguchi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“So, Yamaguchi, how’d a quiet little nerd like you land Tsukishima here in the first place?” Kuroo inquires, slinging an arm around Tadashi, who stiffens under his touch.

“Huh?”

“You and Tsukki are dating, right?”

“Well, yeah, uh-”

“Then how did you get together?”

Tadashi glances around the room for Kei, hoping he’d be nearby to save him, but the room was empty save them and some members of Fukurodani.

“Um…I should really go–”

“Ah, c'mon, it’s just a quick story! I promise I’ll tell Sawamura I held you back.”

“I- it’s not that, I just… s- should go…find Tsukki, he’s probably wondering where I am.”

“Oh, so you’re the co-dependent type, I get it,” Kuroo says, allowing his arm to slide off of him. “Ok, fair enough. But you’re telling me tomorrow.”

Tadashi scrambles up and rushes towards the classroom Karasuno was staying in at training camp, Kuroo’s words still running through his head. /Oh, so you’re the co-dependent type, I get it./

The next day, Kuroo corners him before their daily matches begin. “So, I never got to hear the story of how you and Tsukki got together last night.”

“Wh- why are you so interested in it, anyway?” Tadashi stutters, clutching the ball he’d run to grab to his chest. Kuroo loomed over him, despite him being shorter than Tsukishima, and blocked his view of most of the court ahead.

“I’m Tsukki’s friend, aren’t I? I just feel I could get to know him better. Am I not allowed to do that?”

“I- I, uh…”

“Just a quick story, Yamaguchi-kun~”

“I…fine,” Tadashi sighs in defeat. “I asked Tsukki out in middle school when I thought we were going to go to different high schools, so even if we did, I knew I would still be close to him. When we both got into Karasuno, neither of us moved to break it off and we kind of just kept dating…”

“Oh, so that’s why you two don’t seem like a couple,” Kuroo acts as if he’d just been told the meaning of life. “It’s because you’re really not! You just never broke off a middle school relationship! I see.”

Tadashi feels his heart contract. “W- we don’t seem like a couple?”

“Well, you don’t really hold hands or kiss or anything. And I only found out about you two from Shoyou, so it’s not like either of you are off proclaiming your love for each other. Tsukki probably forgot about the whole thing.”

“Tsukki just isn’t into that stuff…”

Kuroo laughs, clapping Tadashi on the back. “Tell the boyfriend I’m gonna crush him today, ok?”

And like that, Kuroo’s gone. Tadashi stares after him a long while until Kei comes up to him.

“Daichi sent me to find you, the match is about to start.” Suddenly, the feeling that Kei really must have forgotten about them comes over Tadashi, a sense of dread filling his veins, and his knees start to buckle. Kei catches him before he falls, and the ball Tadashi was holding falls to the ground. “Yamaguchi! What the hell?”

“S- sorry Tsukki,” Tadashi mumbles, straightening himself out. “I’m just tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

It isn’t really a lie. After he’d run off, he’d spent the whole night trying not to get sick. Kuroo had sparked some sort of anxiety in him, and made his stomach feel raw. Kind of like right now.

“Idiot. I told you, if you couldn’t sleep with Kageyama’s snoring, you could use my headphones.”

“I didn’t want to bother you, Tsukki,” Tadashi picks up the ball again, walking shakily alongside Kei.

“Whatever.” Kei shakes his head, and Tadashi shrinks back so he’s walking behind him.

-

“Tsukki?..”

“What?” They’re walking home from school a few weeks later when Tadashi finally brings up what he’d been mulling over since his talk with Kuroo.

“So, um…We’re still dating, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

Relief fills Tadashi, and he feels his muscles relax a bit. “No reason. I was just talking to Kuroo-san at training camp and he said–”

“Kuroo’s an idiot, Yamaguchi,”

Tadashi laughs nervously. “Sorry, Tsukki!”

Kei just grunts, and Tadashi diverts his gaze, afraid to look at him. They really didn’t seem like a couple, now that he thinks about it. They never held hands, or hugged, or kissed; Tadashi had always just thought that was just their relationship, and he was happy with the way they were, but now…

Now he was realizing how much he wanted to touch Kei. To hold his hand, hug him, cuddle with him, but Kei would never want that. Of course he wouldn’t. It was pointless even thinking about it.

Suddenly, he thinks of all the girls that had confessed to Kei, and how he was just holding him back from maybe having a real relationship. He can’t breathe right.

Maybe it was better if he and Kei broke things off…

-

“How’s the boyfriend, Yamaguchi-kun?”

“Fine, Kuroo-san.”

“Have you shared any kisses since I last saw you?”

“No, Kuroo-san.”

“You poor thing.”

“I’m really not, Kuroo-san.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

-

“You seem to cling around Tsukki a lot, huh?”

“Really? I do?”

“Doesn’t he ever tell you you’re suffocating him? You’re like…constantly hovering over him.”

“I…guess I haven’t noticed.”

“Anyways, how’s practice going for you, Yamaguchi-kun?”

-

“Hey, Yamaguchi, how’s–”

“I’m going to be sick.”

-

“How’s the–”

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

“Huh? Wh-”

“I have to go, Kuroo-san.”

-

“What did you do?” Kei has Kuroo pushed against one of the lockers at Fukurodani high, glaring daggers at Kuroo.

“What do you mean?”

“Yamaguchi broke up with me. What did you do?”

Kuroo has to admit, he’s afraid of Kei’s glare. “What makes you think I– wait, he broke up with you?”

“Yes,” Kei growls, aggravated. He shoves Kuroo harder into the locker in attempt to get him to fess up.

“Woah. And you’re mad?”

“Yes,”

“Huh. I would have thought you’d be the one to dump him. I mean, you never acted like a couple. In fact, when I asked why, Yamaguchi said you just weren’t into it; I assumed that meant you weren’t into him.”

“Why the hell wouldn’t I be into my own boyfriend?!” Kei shoves him into the lockers again. “Damn it, I love him!”

“You sure don’t show it.”

“Just tell me what you did to make him break up with me so I can fix it, ok?” Kei was exhausted. He felt like crying. Kuroo softens.

“I’m sorry, but I just talked to him. Asked about you. Asked about volleyball. That’s it.”

Kei groans, giving Kuroo one more shove into the wall before releasing him and taking his head in his hands. “Why the hell did he do it?”

Kuroo rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “I don’t know.”

Kei groans and stalks off, leaving Kuroo, confused, behind.

-

“Oi, Yamaguchi, uh…” They’re walking home from where Takeda had dropped them off after they’d departed from training camp, and Kei can’t take it anymore. He’d waited until after camp to confront Tadashi, because he knew Tadashi wouldn’t like it if he caused a scene with him in the midst of it.

“Hm? Something wrong, Tsukki?”

“I…Can you tell me why? I mean, you didn’t clearly explain, and uh… Yeah.”

“Huh? Oh.” Tadashi frowns. Why did he want an explanation? He didn’t care. “You… You obviously weren’t into the relationship, and I didn’t want to hold you down, I guess?”

“You guess?”

“Well, I mean, Kuroo-san did make a good point, you never did touch me, or look at me like Hinata and Kageyama do, or even get excited around me… And besides, I’m really clingy, and you don’t like clingy people; you clearly didn’t enjoy being with me, and I’m ok with being just friends again. If you don’t take this opportunity to cut me out of your life forever,” Tadashi laughs nervously. “That was such a long explanation, sorry, Tsukki!”

Kei looks at Tadashi in disbelief. Didn’t enjoy being with him? If he didn’t enjoy being with Tadashi, he would have left him a long time ago. And what was this about being clingy? Kuroo called him clingy? Kuroo said he hadn’t said anything to him.

“Yamaguchi, whatever Kuroo said–”

“Ah, this is my turn Tsukki; I promised Shimada-san I’d tell him how camp went.”

“Ah, but–”

“I know, I know, I won’t stay late and I won’t overwork myself. Bye Tsukki!”

Damn it. Kuroo was so dead. Kei pulls out his cellphone and finds Kuroo’s number, typing up a message before hitting send.

–You’re dead.

//Whaat? What did I do?

–Call me.

After a few seconds of walking silently down the street, Kei’s phone rings and he answers it immediately with a “You’re dead, Kuroo.”

“What? Seriously, what did I do? And why are you telling me to call you at ten at night?”

Kei curses at the time; Tadashi would probably sleep over at Shimadas, meaning he couldn’t catch him on his way home. “What exactly have you been saying to him?”

“Him? Who are–”

“Who the hell do you think?!”

“Ok, ok, calm down, Kenma can hear you through the speaker,” Kuroo says, “I’ll take it you mean Yamaguchi.”

“Yes.”

“I just joked around a bit–”

“By calling him clingy? Telling him I didn’t care about him?”

“Well I didn’t think he’d take it to heart–”

“Of course you didn’t,” Kei scoffs, “You never fucking think, do you? He takes everything to heart, Kuroo.”

“I’m sorry, Tsukki–”

“Don’t.”

“Sorry, sorry. Look, I can talk to him if you’d like. Try and smooth things over.”

“Absolutely not.” Kei growls. “You’ve done enough.”

“Seriously, how was I supposed to know he was so fragile?”

And with that, Kei hangs up, cursing into the dark.

“Damn it,” He kicks at a rock on the ground. Damn Kuroo. Fucking up his relationship. How was he supposed to fix this? Tadashi would never listen to reason with his self-confidence at such a low. And he couldn’t fucking fix that if he couldn’t be near him and tell him he’s going to be ok.

-

“Yamaguchi, we need to talk.”

“Hm? Ok, Tsukki,” Tadashi smiles at Kei nervously as they walk home together. “I need to practice with Shimada-san first, but–”

“No. No ‘but I’ll catch up with you’s. You and I both know that if I let you go, you won’t come back. Skip practice today, come to my house.”

“O- ok…” Tadashi says gasping when Kei grabs his hand and drags him home.

“Hey Kei, hello Tada–”

“Can’t talk, Nii-chan,”

“S- sorry Aki-nii, I don’t know what’s come over him–”

Kei pulls Tadashi into his room and slams the door, locking it behind him before he kisses Tadashi roughly, desperately.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi, I love you. I love you so much, whatever Kuroo said is not true. Please take me back.”

“Wh- Tsukki, what-!”

“Please. I love you so so much. You’re not clingy, you’re not annoying, and even if I act like I don’t care, I really do, ok?”

“Tsukki…”

“Tadashi.”

“Tsukki, I…” Tadashi looks up at Kei in amazement, eyes wide. “You…love…me..?”

“Yes,” Kei kisses Tadashi again.

And then Tadashi’s amazed look is replaced with his signature self-deprecating smile. “Tsukki, you don’t have to pity me. I did this for your benefit, I’m fine.”

“No, you're not–” Kei starts, frustrated, but seeing Tadashi’s flinch, calms down. “You're not ok. And I’m not pitying you. I tried to get you to reconsider when you broke up with me, but you didn’t. I’m trying again, and I’m going to continue to try. I love you, Tadashi.”

“But…Why would you want me to reconsider? You finally got rid of me,”

“I didn’t 'get rid’ of you, you idiot, I /lost/ you,” Tsukishima growls in frustration, “Please stop thinking like that.”

Yamaguchi smiles warily at his best friend. “Sorry, Tsukki. I’m not quite sure…You really wanna stay. You have a lot of suitors, I’m sure you’ll find someone who can make you happy.”

As Kei stares at him, Tadashi slips out of his grasp and unlocks the door. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Tsukki. If I run, I can still make it to Shimada-san’s before dark,”

And then he’s gone. Kei hears Tadashi’s farewells to Akiteru, but he can’t tell what he’s saying, because his words are all slurred together. He stares at the wall he’d held Tadashi against, feeling very tired all of a sudden.

He’d…really lost him. He…he lost him, all thanks to a little joking. 


	2. Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tadashi has a panic attack, and things are somewhat ok.

"Hey, uh...Yamaguchi," Kuroo approaches Tadashi with a hand on his neck, other locked in Kenma's, who was waiting hesitantly behind him. "We need to talk. About Tsukki." 

"I'd rather not, Kuroo-san," Tadashi says, eyes on the ground as he tries to step around him. Kuroo frees his hand from Kenma to hault his movement. 

"That wasn't an option, Yama-chan, that was a statement. Come with us and make this easy, why don't you?"

"Kuro," Kenma gives Kuroo a warning glare and Kuroo sighs. 

"I mean...Please, follow us. We'll be quick, I promise."

He throws an arm around Tadashi, leading him off to one of the empty classrooms. Training camp was being held at Karasuno this time around, and it takes a minute for him to find an unlocked classroom, but he does. 

"What is it, Kuroo-san?" Tadashi mumbles, still looking down. 

"I fucked up." There's the sound of a hand slapping Kuroo's chest and a quiet 'ow!' and Tadashi looks up to find Kenma giving a stern glare to Kuroo, who cowered away from him. "I mean...I'm sorry. I was only joking when I said all that stuff, Tsukki really loves you. I was dumb to even tell you you were clingy and that he didn't love you. He's so upset that he lost you, so please, give him a second chance." 

Tadashi stares at him in surprise. 

"You...don't have to lie to me, Kuroo-san. I'm fine with Tsukki not reciprocating my feelings, as long as we're still friends." 

"No, you aren't!"

"Kuro..."

"Yamaguchi, he loves you. He truely, honestly does. He told me himself, he yelled at me the other night because I'm the reason you broke up, just please believe me when I say this: Tsukishima Kei loves you. Ok?"

"I- it's really fine, Kuroo-san," Tadashi can feel tears welling up in his eyes and his breath shortening at the lie; why was Kuroo making this harder for him? Honestly, couldn't he accept that he was broken? "I'm...I need to get some air. Excuse me," 

Tadashi rushes out, and Kuroo sees the tears spilling from his eyes before the door closes. He feels guilt drip into his veins, making his body cold. His head falls in his hands. "What did I do wrooongg?.."

"Kuro," Kenma says softly, "You spoke to him wrong."

"Huh?" 

Kenma rolls his eyes. "I'll fix this," 

The next day, at breakfast, Kenma sits at the Karasuno table, next to Shoyou and Tadashi. "Hey, Tadashi-san?"

"Hm? Oh, hello Kozume-senpai." Tadashi smiles nervously at Kenma. 

"Kenma is fine..." He mutters before adding, "I, uh... I know you're more into serve practice and stuff, but...Would you mind...Practicing spiking with me today? I need to practise tossing, but everyone else is so loud. You...seem calm enough that you won't give me a headache."

Tadashi smiles brightly. "I- I'd love to!"

So that's how Kenma ends up with Tadashi on one of the outdoor nets, setting to Tadashi quietly as he talks on about how his practice was going. Kenma chimes in himself every now and then, but he prefers listening. 

"So, Tadashi..."

"Hm? Yeah, Kenma-senpai?"

"...Kenma... Um, I was wondering... If you ever think about taking Tsukishima back."

"Tsukki?..He doesn't want me back," Tadashi spikes more powerfully, the ball hitting the other side of the net forcefully. "But I guess sometimes I think about what it would be like to date him again. For real this time."

Kenma sends another toss in his direction. "What do you mean by for real?" 

"...Well, Tsukki and I got together kind of childishly, and we never did couple stuff like hold hands, and kiss and stuff." Tadashi fiddles with his fingers as he waits for another toss. "But I guess Tsukki just didn't want the same thing."

Another toss. "...You know, Kuro and I are dating." 

Tadashi nearly misses his spike he looks over at Kenma so quick. "Really? You two don't seem like it," 

"I know," Kenma sends another ball in Tadashi's direction. "Kuro was so scared to even hold my hand at first, and we still don't really kiss, but I know he loves me all the same."

"He was scared? Kuroo-san?" 

"Yeah. Really scared. He didn't think I'd like all that because I've only known the other side of him for so long." Kenma smiles lightly up at Tadashi, "What I'm trying to say is, you should believe Tsukishima when he says he loves you, because it probably took a lot of courage to say that." 

"R- really?.." 

Kenma nods, and looks back to the basket he'd be grabbing balls from. Empty. "...I think we've done enough today. If you don't mind, could we do this again tomorrow?"

"Of course, senpai." Tadashi says. He looks over to the mess on the other side of the court and cringes. He wanted to go find Kei. "L- let's hurry and pick up, then, I think it's almost dinner time--"

"I'll get Lev to pick up the balls," Kenma says dismissively, already playing a game on his phone. Tadashi smiles fondly. That was the Kenma he'd seen before. He seemed different, playing volleyball. Maybe tomorrow, he'd ask him more about himself. Tadashi says his farewells and heads over to where he hoped Kei was still practicing. 

Bingo. He was practicing blocking with Bokuto and Akaashi. 

"Tsukki, nice!" He calls out when Kei successfully stops one of Bokuto's spikes, and Kei looks over to him, cheeks flushing. Bokuto looks in his direction too, and grins blindingly. 

"Oi, freckles! Come practice with us, we'll have a two-on-two!" 

For a second, Tadashi considers it. But then he sees the distressed look Kei is giving Akaashi and feels his stomach drop, heart rate picking up. 

"Ah, s- sorry, I'm not a setter..." Yamaguchi yells back nervously. "Go on practicing."

Bokuto huffs, but seeing Akaashi's warning glare does as told. Tadashi walks a little farther into the gymnasium they were in, and sits next to Suga at one of the benches, chatting lightly. He can hear Bokuto and Kei speaking from where he is. 

"Hey hey, glasses-kun, isn't that kid that we just saw your ex boyfriend or something? Kuroo was saying something about it the other day."

"Oh, was he? And what exactly did Kuroo say?"

"That he -- unf-- that he needed to talk to him or something about you. He said he needed to get you back together." 

There's silence, then, "...I don't think that's going to happen again. Tadashi's too self conscious. Too...broken. Right now."

Kei sounds bitter and angry when he speaks, and Tadashi feels anxiety flow over him. Kei was definitely mad at him. Of course he was. Why wouldn't he be? Oh god. He feels sick.

"Dinner! Wrap up practice and wash up, boys!" 

"Yes, Daichi-san!"

Tadashi stands, feeling his legs begin to shake, and heads to the washroom to clean up before dinner. He hopes the long line as others do the same will calm him down and stop his building panic attack but it doesn't and eventually he's sitting in the bathroom by himself, hurling into the toilet. 

Kei hates him. He probably always had, he really was dating him out of pity oh god why did he think it was a good idea to want to get back together again, why--

"Yamaguchi?" A hand on his shoulder makes Tadashi flinch and his already sporadic breathing hitch. 

"Ts- Tsukki," He stutters, scrambling up to wipe the mixture of vomit and tears from his face. "I was, uh--" He can't breath right, at least not enough to talk at the same time. "I was just on m- my way--"

Tadashi's knees go out and he falls back on the tiled floor before Kei could catch him. 

"Tadashi!" Kei kneels down, pulling the sobbing boy into his lap. "Tadashi, what's wrong? Why are you upset?"

"I- I-- Y- you h- h--" Tadashi gasps, and sobs wrack his body. Everything happened so fast, he has no idea why he's panicking so much. So what if Kei hated him? It was bound to happen he got sick of him. Oh god, there it is again. That sick feeling. Tadashi bites back the urge to vomit. "I.."

"Ok, no, tell me later. Right now, focus on your breathing, ok?" Kei's hand slides in his and he props Tadashi's forehead on his own. How they normally dealt with his panic attacks. Kei breathes in deep, and Tadashi does too; when Kei breathes out, so does Tadashi. "Breathe deep, and regularly, you're doing just fine. Whatever's scaring you isn't so scary, ok? It's just a little thing,"

"B- but y- you're scaring me," Tadashi whispers, his breathing somewhat regulated aside from a few hiccups and gasps. "Y- you hate me, and I d- don't know what I'm g-oing to do without you yet and you're going to- to leave me and I won't have anybody and-- and--" 

"Tadashi," Kei's calming voice stops Tadashi's stuttered out words, and he pulls away enough to look the other in the eyes. "I do not hate you, and I will not leave you, broken up or not. I know you think I will, and that I'll get bored of you, but I won't. I love you so much, and I want to be here when you get like this, because I want to help you and reassure you like I always do. 

"Don't think that just because we're not together that I won't love you unconditionally and help you through your anxiety, ok?" 

"Ts- Tsukki..." 

Tadashi remembers what Kenma said earlier, and suddenly it makes sense. 

"Tsukki, do you get scared sometimes?"

"All the time."

Tadashi relaxes in Kei's lap, and let's his head fall to his shoulder, feeling his hand in Kei's. "Ask me again, Kei."

"Hm?"

"Ask me back again. I'll say yes."


End file.
